This is the first Saturday that I am basically self-Quarantined. My job is now completely online and I’m working from home. As a mental health professional, a therapist, it is my job to help people stay calm, relaxed and present so that they can be aware of the choices they have to make in every moment. I am doing self-checks hourly, to remind myself to stay calm in my body and to comfort my inner self that may be afraid or worried. It is my job to comfort myself in the healthiest way possible so that I can be present for people who might need my help.
I have just finished my first Zoom meeting with my Al-Anon women’s group, my weekly reprise and escape from my own ruminating brain. I love those gals. Many of them are in their 70s and 80s. It’s too much to bear the thought that next year they may all be gone, or even myself for that matter. In my share today, I simply said that if I die, I die, if I get sick and recover, I’ll get sick and recover, it is simple as that. It’s almost a happy thought to leave the planet today as the grief will be overwhelming as we slowly start to die from this virus one at a time. My heart is heavy, sigh.
I took my first “walk around about the apartment building” today in an effort to keep myself in shape and moving. It’s really easy to just sit and binge watch TV. I’m making good things to eat and I’m not getting takeout. I know that is probably bad for the restaurant business, but I really don’t eat out much anyway as a vegan person. I feel like my diet has prepared me over the last couple of years to be more mindful about what I feed my body. I’m accustomed to no meat, no dairy. I eat eggs though and hopefully they will not run out. I also quit eating refined and fake sugars this year. I’m so glad too because I would be eating a ton right now as I always ate candy and treats for comfort food. My body has been adjusting to that over the past six weeks and now I don’t even crave chocolate anymore. My mind sometimes does, however.
It is joyous to see the communities coming together in this time of crisis. The governmental agencies are opening their pocketbooks, homeless people are being cared for, businesses are providing food and services, loans, and financial assistance. I’m still waiting for our rents to be lowered or forgiven. I’m hopeful. You can’t just throw everyone on the street, right? So many people live paycheck to paycheck, I can’t imagine most of the working class being able to buy food and pay rent on unemployment compensation.
As this all unfolds, I can’t help but imagine the world afterwards. Healthcare will look completely different, government will be rearranged, people will be grieving their losses and learning how to cooperate instead of competing with one another. We will be grateful for the helpers, for the ones that gave their lives, and for the children that are brave enough to see this new world through, holding us all to higher standards of love, peace and harmony.
Sending my love to all who want it today. Thank you for being here, for being you.